I have been hearing a lot of young, attractive women talking about how “creepy” men are. Apparently, the general consensus among girls these days is that for a guy whom you have not met before to come up to you and hit on you in a public place (a bar, grocery store, bus stop, what have you) is creepy. Actually, he doesn’t even have to be hitting on you for you to be creeped out. He just has to talk to you. Seemingly, it has nothing to do with how attractive he is, how polite he is, or even what he says to you. If the context of the situation is that a male stranger comes up to you in public and speaks to you, it’s automatically viewed as creepy.

     But what about that guy you met on match.com? It doesn’t creep you out that he has to hide behind a computer screen to talk to chicks, because even though you’re both attracted to each other, he’s too socially awkward to ever approach you in public? Oh, wait. Even if he was confident enough to come up to you and talk to you if you caught his eye in a bar – you’d be creeped out.
I won’t even go into christianmingle.com and how much that website gives me the creeps.

     Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying I have never felt off-put by a guy who was trying to hit on me. I have had my fair share of strange dudes coming up to me and saying odd shit to me in public, especially when alcohol is a factor. What I am trying to say here is that it’s not always creepy to be approached in a public place, and if a guy really, truly makes you feel uncomfortable, ladies, from what I’ve seen, you’re really bad at showing it. Just really good at talking about it later and laughing at the poor guys expense.

      If a guy comes up to you and asks to buy you a drink or simply says something like ‘Hi, how’s your night going?’ and you have no intention of talking to him or getting to know him, there’s nothing wrong with that. The wrong-doing lies in smiling, batting your eyelashes, and pretending to listen to what he says for a quick second so that you can get your free drink and then go and tell your friends what a CREEP that guy was. First of all, what made him a creep? That he found you attractive or he liked your tattoos or he found something intriguing about you that made him want to talk to you and he had the balls to actually do it? Or was it that he was willing to spend eight of his hard earned dollars on some fruity beverage for a complete stranger? And secondly, if you are actually made uncomfortable by whatever it was he said to you, or by the gesture of him offering to buy you a drink, why in the hell would you accept the drink from him at all? If he is really that much of a weirdo, aren’t you worried he might have slipped something into it? Because let me tell you, real creeps roofie girls.

      Ever seen the Seinfeld episode where Elaine is on the subway reading a TV Guide and a bald guy with glasses and a horrible lisp starts talking to her, becomes obsessed with her, and ends up stalking her? Yeah. That is creepy. That guy trying to buy you a drink at the bar because he thought you were cute? Not creepy.
Also… When you decided to go out with your girlfriends on a Friday or Saturday night, and you made the conscious decision to wear that skirt and those heels…Honestly, what did you think would happen? You can claim that you weren’t trying to get attention from men, but we all know that’s a load of malarky.

     All of that being said, If a guy comes up to me and I immediately know that I have no interest in him, I will let him know that I appreciate any compliments that he has given me, but decline his offer to buy me a drink. Then, usually, my friends tell me that I was rude to him. To me, politely rejecting someone is much less rude than pretending that you like the attention he’s giving you (Oh wait, you probably actually do like it because it feeds your ego in some sick way) and then giving him some fake phone number and speaking ill about him later on. It’s not crazy to tell someone that you don’t want to give them your phone number. I do it all the time.

     Just because I reject your offer to buy me a drink, though, doesn’t mean that I think you’re a creep. In fact, I’m glad there are still guys out there who approach me in public. A lot of men are starting to get the memo that girls think it’s creepy to be talked to in bars – so they’re doing it less and less.

     Now, say weird things to me on a subway, get my address off of the back of my TV Guide, cut it up into some sort of craft project, and then come and bring it to me? Then you’re a creep. So, let’s stop overusing the word and only use it for those who really deserve it.